Eight and a Half Bit

* Note: Spoilers ahead regarding some of the characters, locations, enemies, and events of Dark Souls.

[This is part 2 of a 2 part series. Part 1 is available here]

Thirty-two.

    It’s not a particularly large number, is it. It’s no thirty-three, for instance. Or four-billion-and-seven. But thirty-two can be plenty, depending on the circumstances.

    “Ornstein and Smough. Soul Level 1. 32 attempts. FUCKING DONE. HAVE THAT, YOU PAIR OF GOLDEN BASTARDS.”

    The above was a text message I sent early on a Sunday morning to a friend and fellow Dark Souls player after finally defeating the boss duo of Dragon Slayer Ornstein and Executioner Smough – on my thirty-second attempt. Yes, I counted.

    But let’s backtrack slightly.

Continue reading →

“I got a bad feeling about this.” – Han Solo.

* Note: Spoilers ahead regarding some of the characters, locations, enemies, and events of Dark Souls.

You’re standing in a cave. Lying asleep on the ground before you is a huge male bear, the massive beast lying on his back, snoring. Covered in thick, dark fur, with claws and teeth that are long and sharp, the bear is one of nature’s killing machines.

    In your hands is a wet towel. You look down at it, then at the sleeping bear. Then you quickly spin the towel around and flick it outwards with all the force you can manage, snapping the towel against the bear’s testicles.

    The bear wakes with a start. At first, his expression shows confusion, surprise, and pain. Then his eyes focus on you, his teeth clamp together in a snarl, and a furious, murderous frown creases his brow as he glares at you.

    As the bear rises to its full height, towering over you, his eyes never leaving yours as he lets out a loud roar, you begin to feel a terrible sinking feeling in your stomach, and one simple truth passes through your mind: I brought this on myself.

    This was the situation I found myself in as I took on Dark Souls at Soul Level 1. Whatever crushing defeats and punishing challenges awaited me, however many seemingly undefeatable enemies and brutal deaths… I brought this on myself.

Continue reading →